Hi korang!! Omaigod I can't even remember when was the last time I posted something up here. Really sorry about that guys, I was just really sibuk dengan tutoring and my current internship tambah with scholarship applications lagi. Don't be fooled ye, I acah like I got a lot of work but I still wasting my eyesight on Netflix and Instagram like any normal person.
Anywho, so as the title suggests, I akan share macam mana nak tebar roti canai, JK! (bapak hambar). Yeah wtv so, in this post imma let y'all in on how exactly I balanced a crazy personal life which included a ton of hurdles along the way with my studies and somehow am still surviving with a decent SPM slip.
Point is, I'm telling you guys, memang boleh balance kehidupan yang terkontang-kanting ni. I'm not saying my life was perfect, form 5 was a never ending roller-coaster no doubt but I knew that there were things I had to do to not jeopardise my studies. And honestly, no one should have to sacrifice their grades because of their personal life and I hope I'll be able to help korang somehow. *DISCLAIMER: TEENAGE REALNESS AHEAD, ONLY FOR THE OPEN MINDED*
1. Handling Friendships - the good, the bad and the uglya) PART 1: STUDYING WITH FRIENDS
Baseline is, everyone has friends right? Yeah, so did I, cos humans are social creatures. However, sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing, get it? What I'm trying to say is, friends are great when things are good but things can get tough bila you nak focus and study. This is especially real if kawan you semua jenis extroverted and rowdy. I had this problem too you see, sebab I pantang borak dengan member nanti confirm sampai esok tak habis.
So when I wanted to study I actually distanced myself from people in general. I suka bercakap okay, so I made sure I tk jumpa manusia untuk layan I. And if you're like me, start training yourself to be independent and study alone for a few hours. ISTG you will feel so productive it hurts.
b) PART 2: FIGHTS AND TOXICITY
Okay so here's the UGLY part. Toxicity. How I perceive the world is: everyone has flaws so we're naturally going to hurt somebody in the process. Relating to that, have I been hurt by people I trust? Of course. But that is no reason to hate somebody and fight because if you think of it sometimes orang tk sengaja/sedar pun you're hurt.
When a friend hurts me, of course I merajuk for a while but I really don't take it to heart too much. In fact, I jenis maafkan orang even if they don't say sorry pun awal-awal. You can call me stupid or wtv but like life is too short to dwell on negativity and if they don't want to say sorry and make it up to you, I guess they never really did care about you as a friend to begin with, sorry to say. But don't feel offended by that seriously. That just means it's a golden opportunity to remove your life from benda yang boleh rosakkan you. Therefore, you can focus on what's ahead and keep on striving.
Remember, if someone keeps hurting you repeatedly with no remorse, I guess that's time to man up and let them go yourself. Don't waste your energy fixing things that are already broken sebab benda tu distracting and can wreck your mental health. Be with people that deserve you and are willing to support you.
Kalau terbalik pulak, you're the one who hurts others, intentionally or not, you shouldn't delay tryna fix things with people. I know people say "Oh kalau text and tk jumpa face to face, maksudnya tk ikhlas". Which is kinda true cos it lacks effort but it is better than nothing. Truth is: confrontation is scary. Even with that said, if you and you're friend have a mature, respectful friendship, I bet things will work out when you bincang depan-depan. Muafakat membawa berkat ye rakan-rakan.
So the key is live with a forgiving heart, take things positively and remember everyone makes mistakes so don't be too hard on yourself or others.
2. Family problemsIf any of my dear readers are going through issues at home, I am really sorry for you and support you 100%. It would be disrespectful if I said just forget it because perasan tk suka balik rumah or sedih with your family must be a great burden to bear. We all have our issues we have to face but remember that all these ujian sebenarnya menguatkan diri kita, mentally, physically, emotionally, you name it.
My advice is, maybe make school time and learning a way to escape from reality. Make it fun. If you're not comfortable at home, make yourself comfortable at school. Make sure korang seronok bila belajar and make it your motivation to be a better person. Again, hidup manusia ni pendek. Being sad and demotivated all the time is no way to live because remember, everyone has their own battles they're facing yang maybe kita tk nampak.
Tell yourself, despite all the adversity, I still enjoyed my life and did well in my studies. Never, ever blame anyone for your failure or downfall because life is what you make it and you are your choices. If you choose to make your issues a distraction, then a distraction it will be. But if you choose to take it as a challenge to move on and make a better life for yourself, then you sure are a tough cookie and you should give yourself a pat on the back.
If something really is bothering you, maybe see a counsellor or a teacher you trust and speak out about your issues. Bottling up your emotions is no way to go and it can destroy you mentally. Always reach out for help because I guarantee there are people who care about you and are willing to guide you.
3. Balancing extra-curricular activities Bersederhanalah rakan-rakan apabila berco-cu. Yes, I pun sibuk nk buat semua benda. And truth be told, it is tiring. You see, everything you do needs commitment, so whenever you're about to join something, tell yourself, do you see yourself actually doing this? If you don't and mostly likely join for the fun of it then, NO. Jangan masuk. Like everything else, quality over quantity. Tak de guna korang masuk semua benda and gain nothing from it or quit halfway. Make sure buat benda korang betul-betul suka and better still, something relevant to your future career.
If you feel too burdened with co-cu activities, just let it go gurl. Your results are the MOST important. Make sure to filter which are most important/beneficial to you. My advice, maybe have a variety of activities. Maksudnya, satu sport, satu kelab and satu UB. So you end up being a well rounded candidate when you apply for scholarships. Also, community service is really good to have as well. If you're still keen on juggling a lot of activities, make sure bahagikan masa betul-betul to study.
This also depends on how academically strong you are. Kalau korang agak lemah dalam studies, maybe kurangkan the co-cu cos you don't want to be missing classes and have trouble catching up. I bet you guys know this already but: STUDIES ALWAYS COMES FIRST!
4. Relationships 101Well, here we are folks, the most uncomfortable part. Wondered why I said, be open minded, well this is why. Okay honestly lah kan, I've had my fair share of relationships throughout high school, even sampai form 5. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to be proud of and in fact I wouldn't recommend you guys to start dating around in school. Mainly because it takes a lot of discipline and kena kuat mentally and emotionally. To me, I never really did care about being single or not but if I suka orang... ah, macam tu la. But if you're still keen on being with someone you like, then by all means, but here's some advice on juggling 'special' relationships:
A) Always put yourself first
Sorry to burst your bubble but here's the tea: you are the most important person in your life. Look, banyak mana pun you guys like each other, last-last SPM slip masing-masing and I doubt you two would sacrifice your scholarship for the other. So, find someone who cares about you and respects you enough to know that you got priorities and a life too. Relating to that, if you got to study, you kena study. So set your priorities straight and let your partner know that too.
Also, don't let your relationship wreck your current life, meaning your friendships or interest. If that person cannot accept who you are as a person then is it really worth it?
About friends, if he/she doesn't like your friends then that is a BIG problem. Friends reflect who we are as people sebab ye lah kan, kita kawan dengan orang macam kita or orang kita suka. So meaning if they can't vibe with your friends, most likely they can't vibe with you.
B) Have mutual goals
Back in form five, my bf and I were super duper kiasu. Like there was a time, I got 1st in batch and he got 2nd. Therefore, jadikan your relationship a stepping stone to get better together. We both would wake each other up by calling at 5 am just to study and solat etc. We told each other, we're both gonna get those straight A+ and alhamdulillah, even tho he missed one A+ (9A+, 1A which is still super impressive for a science stream student) we still did well for SPM. Make sure to focus on realising your common goal and work towards it.
C) Setting ground rules
Of course lah kan, you would want to talk on the phone for hours or text until your eyes fall out. But again, you're in school for a reason: TO STUDY (if that wasn't obvious already). So, maybe what you can do is say, let's not text from 8pm to 11pm and just focus on studying. Also, I suggest setting a bed time sebab like in my previous posts, I mentioned that sleep is SUPER RING important.
D) Have a respectable relationship
The world doesn't revolve around you and me. So, pastikan whatever you nak buat, mendapat restu your parents, your teachers and maybe just society in general. Of course lah your parents would be worried that a relationship would sidetrack you from what's important. But if you used your relationship as motivation and a medium to get better in every aspect why not? That includes PDA and menggedik etc. Guys mmg I pernah coupling bagai but please tone it down in public to not start a cringe fest. So have respect for yourself and for others around you.
Maybe just take my words with a grain of salt but no harm sharing kan? But if you guys feel your relationship is getting out of hand (academics makin teruk, getting involved in inappropriate stuff, mental health declining). Maybe it's time to let go because a person you should be with is someone who brings the best out of you and if they don't, then BYE-BYE.
Sometimes, the right person but wrong timing pun payah jugak. If that's the case, take a break then when SPM or other commitments are over try work things out. Legit doh lepas SPM sumpah banyak gila free time so do what you couldn't back in school.t
Last from me to sum up everything (sorry panjang kanak-kanak ribena), always separate your personal life from your studies. Idk how hard life may be for you but try to leave that all behind when you're in school and studying. Because, hasil daripada you focus, kerja keras and bertabah will totally pay off and wash all that pain away. One slip really can change your life, so break the chain of negativity and go get dem grades gurl.
Well I guess that wraps it up. Again guys, this is just solely my opinion and my advice comes from my experience in high school. I hope I didn't offend anybody in any way because sumpah that isn't my niat like ever. I really just want to help those who feel a bit lost when it comes to balancing life in school with all the teenage-hormonal shenanigans going on. Be sure to tell me what you guys think.
Also, would really appreciate if y'all could spread some love by giving the blog a mention on social media. liking the post and better yet, SUBSCRIBEEEEE! I really do feel more semangat nak pecah otak tulis content untuk korang when you guys dm, or subscribe, etc. Kkay, tu je for now, stay safe and healthy guys. Ta-ta!
Lots of love,
Sya.
Comments